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Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Summer Movie Reviews

The summer is reaching an end and if you're like me, over the summer you did just about everything you could to get your mind off this Israel/Hezbollah craziness. I've gone to camp, bought the life consuming game, Oblivion, and gone to the movies, a lot. Lets just say that out of the movies that are out now I haven't seen four of them. Mostly because they're crappy CGI movies, but that's another discussion.

Now both you and I know that I'm no movie reviewer, but because I've seen so many movies this summer, I might as well give it a shot, eh? Here's what I'll give you a quick blurb of. Pirates of the Caribbean 2, World Trade Center, Snakes on a Plane, and Accepted.

First we have Pirates of the Caribbean 2. This movie was huge, both in the box office and in length. Ugh. I'm sorry but the movie is two and a half freaking hours long and that isn't enough time to squeeze in something I like to call an ending. But that's not my only problem with the plot, because like most sequels, pirate two's story just doesn't raise the bar. In fact, if Pirates two was playing limbo it would win by going the lowest. Don't get me wrong, the classic pirate action is there, but does no one else notice the story? It has more holes than a slab of swiss cheese.

The first thing you'll start to notice is something I like to call a genre imbalance. The first part looks like a bonnet film, the second a comedy, the third a paranormal suspense, and then a story-less thriller. My God I was confused. And it's only worse when you realize that the entire plot is told by a woman with an accent you can't even make out.

So why was this such a big film? Simple. The girls go to see Johnny Depp and Orlando Bloom. Now I'm not gay or female, but I just plain don't know what girls see in them. Johnny Depp is ugly, then dressed up to look even more ugly, and Orlando Bloom is ugly and a bad actor.

If it wasn't for the great action and the great acting by Johnny Depp (which is unfortunately negated by Bloom's terrible acting) I'd give it a low score. But even though you're confused to the point of exploding, you are still on the edge of your seat. Though the movie did wonderful in the box office and had great critical acclaim, let me be the first to say that the movie is just average. 3/5.

The next film I saw was World Trade Center, a tribute film about 9/11. If you don't know who the story revolves around and focuses on it's two cops that get caught in the rubble of the World Trade Center building. We follow both the cops under the rubble and their families trying to find out what's going on.

Now, I really hate to say anything bad about a 9/11 tribute, but I did have a few problems with the film. Again, I hate to say this, but two hours of cops being caught under rubble is, well, kind of boring. But worse than that, by the movie focusing on the rubble, it takes focus off the terrorists. You don't even see the plane in the movie. So naturally the movies antagonist is rubble. Not Islamofascists. That's how I felt after seeing the movie anyways. It seems like a PC tribute almost. Not putting the terrorists in bad light, and not even showing the plane, leaving 9/11 conspiracy theorists completely unopposed. What kind of tribute is that?

But apart from the message, it wasn't terrible. There was some good acting, special effects, and plot elements in the movie that made a two hour movie about two guys under some rocks more interesting than you would think. 3/5.

The other two reviews will be added to this post shortly.


  • At 27/8/06 1:05 AM, Blogger Allisoni Balloni said…

    I think that the point of World Trade Center is to show the good that happened in a time of terror, rather than the terror itself that we are all already so familiar with. I don't plan to see it anytime soon, but I have read plenty of reviews and synopsises and that seems to be the point.

  • At 27/8/06 8:41 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I haven't seen it either. If it's historically accurate I think it would be a good movie for history classes in the future, but it would depend on how far it went into ALL the events and possibly afterwards a small bit. I don't know if it does that so...

  • At 27/8/06 6:36 PM, Blogger Mary Ann said…

    I saw World Trade Center when it opened, and I really liked it, actually. It dragged a bit in the middle, but it was pretty good.

    As for Johnny Depp... Now I'm a 16 year old girl and every girl my age disagrees with me, but I find him unbelievably ugly, too. lol, I haven't seen the movie, so I can't judge his acting. :D


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